Turning 18 is a much-awaited celebration for most teenage girls. But Bella Swan certainly isn’t anything like most teenage girls. She is both loved and envied in equal measure in her hometown of Forks, Washington for her slim build, clear skin, individualist approach to life and last, but certainly not least, her gorgeous, adoring boyfriend (who just so happens to be a one-hundred-and-something year old vampire who lusts after her blood). Well that was, until that gorgeous adoring boyfriend suddenly packed up and moved away without warning, completely abandoning her. Now, the girl standing before me is a shadow of her former self. She has gone from slim to gasp-inducingly thin. Constant dark circles under her bloodshot eyes overshadow her clear skin. And that infamous individualist approach? It could currently be better described as self- inflicted isolation from the outside world. Her endearing tendency to blush at the smallest pang of emotion hasn’t been seen in months. No colour ever flushes her cheeks anymore; she just stays a stark, cold white. Ironically, she looks like the life has been sucked out of her.What would you say has been the most important event in your life so far?
Bella: Moving here. I hated it at first, but this town really isn’t all that bad. I mean everyone I… well nearly everyone I love is here.
Why do you think Edward left?
Bella: It never made any sense for him to love me in the first place. I always knew I loved him way more than he could ever love me, I mean, I know people would look at us and think ‘why is he with her, she’s so plain?’ I always knew that eventually he would realise what everyone else already did. Like he said that I’m ‘not good for him’ but I know he finally realised I wasn’t good enough.
So, what you’re saying is, him leaving has impacted your self-esteem?
Bella: Yes… no. Look, I really don’t blame him. I just miss him, that’s all. I really, really miss him.
Recently, your father has been questioning whether or not it would be best for you to go and stay with your mother in Arizona (where Bella was born, and had lived with her mother and step-father up until a few months ago) for a while, maybe that’s not such a bad idea?
Bella: No! No I’m not leaving. I cant. I wont!
Why do you react so strongly to the idea of leaving?
Bella: I'm sorry… I shouldn’t have reacted like that. It might sound pathetic, but at least if I stay here, where there are still places and things to remind me of him, it kind of gives my memories of him more to cling on to.
Let’s move onto a lighter subject. What would you say your likes and dislikes are?
Bella: I just pretty much prefer to go through life as simply as possible these days. My dislikes are music, books, TV. I just feel like it makes things a lot easier on me to be alone right now, especially in my own head. Likes… I don’t know. Just write whatever.
How about any fears?
Bella: I don’t really have much left to lose anymore.
Any goals?
Bella: (she sighs) To graduate high school.
Would it be fair to say that your personality is fairly introverted?
Bella: Yeah, sure. I guess.
And how has that made dealing with your recent loss? Have you been able to reach out to friends and family for help?
Bella: Honestly, the only reason I even bother getting out of bed in the mornings is to stop my family being concerned about me. My dad worries a lot. I still see my friends at school, I just prefer to be alone with my thoughts now though. Although, thank god for my friend Jacob, he is literally like my personal sun, the only thing that fills my life with warmth and light anymore.
As she answered that last question, it was the first time in this interview that I saw Bella Swan smile. A faint one yes, but it was most definitely there. That faint smile conveyed a glimmer of hope, that this girl refused to just give in to her loss, she was determined to conquer it.
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